I haven't lived long enough to be considered a sage, but there are a few things I know. Like:
When a company is about to REALLY screw its employees, it announces loudly, "Our employees are our most valuable resource." When you hear that, drop your pants.
All women carry a change purse and will search relentlessly for all the pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters necessary to pay a bill with the exact correct change, no matter how many people are in line behind them.
If you want something done for which there is no budget or for which the government is responsible, claim it is a safety issue. That trumps everything else.
When you say, "Children are the future," that generally means you want other people to pay for the new school you want your own children to attend.
The best part about being retired, as former Elgin Police Sgt. Tom Olsen proved Friday, is that you can wear any shirt you like and there's nothing anyone can do about it. ☺
If you want to make people do something that you know they won't want to do, you can guilt them into it…
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