The other night, we came across a documentary about child prodigy musicians. There was a 10-year-old jazz pianist, an 11-year-old fiddle champion, and a 10-year-old mariachi singer, among others. As the jazz kid tickled the ivories with the mastery of someone thrice his age, Alex said, "Wow, that kid's good. How can he do that? He's just a kid!"
Dave and I looked at each other. Neither of us had an answer that included a logical explanation. We have both taught kids classes – he in acting, me in dance. Some kids are just naturals. Of course, practice makes perfect. But some kids just seem to come hard wired for certain things.
So Dave and I are looking at our impressionable 5-year-old and thinking the same thing: What might Alex's thing be? And, will he even have one?
My thing as a kid was ballet. I wasn't a prodigy by any means, but for some reason, my body and brain just got that. But had my mom not seen an ad in the local paper for Lisa Boehm's School of Ballet, that might not have become my thing. I also took ice skating lessons, voice lessons and played softball. But none of those really stuck. Eventually I dropped them all to take more and more ballet classes, and then added other forms of dance.
When I was 12, someone told my mom that if I was serious about dance, I needed to go to a more advanced school in Naperville. The minimum requirement was four days a week. To Naperville and back. Four times a week. Yeah.
My brother's thing was soccer. He quickly graduated out of parks and rec leagues to traveling clubs. I remember he looked like a gazelle running down the field. He made it look so easy.
Once a kid finds their thing it inevitably becomes the parents' thing, too. Driving to lessons, perhaps getting a part-time job to pay for the lessons, juggling siblings' activities, preparing for whatever steps are necessary to take the kid to the next level. Some parents opt-out at this point. And some parents go off the deep end. Anyone who has seen "Dance Moms" knows what I'm talking about.
The "next level" point for me was dancing seven days a week. Classes after school every day and rehearsals all weekend. I couldn't drive, so my mom was trapped in Naperville waiting for me. She decided to turn her boredom into a business opportunity. She opened a mobile dance apparel store and sold to my studio and studios in the area – it was a profitable way to pass the time.
The "next level" for my brother was traveling soccer tournaments all over the country. My dad often traveled with my brother while my mom was with me. I don't remember many dinners at home together around this time of our lives.
The amount of time and money my parents spent on these activities is staggering. We were a middle class family – I honestly don't know how they swung that. It's no wonder they were sad and disappointed when we each decided to quit. They were just as committed as we were to becoming the best we could be. Probably more.
As I look at Alex and think about what he might be into, I feel overwhelmed by the commitment that could be in our future. I sure hope it's not ice hockey. I've heard that's one of the most expensive and time consuming activities. Not to mention the dental bills
.
Or, at some point, I may have to come to terms with the fact that he may not be committed to any one specific thing. Being super competitive, my natural tendency will be to encourage him to be the best at whatever he tries. I'll have to keep that in check so I don't go all "dance mom" on him. That's a conscious choice that parents have to make. Of course, you love your kids no matter what. But disappointment is real on both sides, and has to be managed in the right way.
One thing I know for sure. However far we may have to travel and however much equipment we may need to accumulate, I will never, ever drive a minivan.
Dave and I looked at each other. Neither of us had an answer that included a logical explanation. We have both taught kids classes – he in acting, me in dance. Some kids are just naturals. Of course, practice makes perfect. But some kids just seem to come hard wired for certain things.
So Dave and I are looking at our impressionable 5-year-old and thinking the same thing: What might Alex's thing be? And, will he even have one?
My thing as a kid was ballet. I wasn't a prodigy by any means, but for some reason, my body and brain just got that. But had my mom not seen an ad in the local paper for Lisa Boehm's School of Ballet, that might not have become my thing. I also took ice skating lessons, voice lessons and played softball. But none of those really stuck. Eventually I dropped them all to take more and more ballet classes, and then added other forms of dance.
When I was 12, someone told my mom that if I was serious about dance, I needed to go to a more advanced school in Naperville. The minimum requirement was four days a week. To Naperville and back. Four times a week. Yeah.
My brother's thing was soccer. He quickly graduated out of parks and rec leagues to traveling clubs. I remember he looked like a gazelle running down the field. He made it look so easy.
Once a kid finds their thing it inevitably becomes the parents' thing, too. Driving to lessons, perhaps getting a part-time job to pay for the lessons, juggling siblings' activities, preparing for whatever steps are necessary to take the kid to the next level. Some parents opt-out at this point. And some parents go off the deep end. Anyone who has seen "Dance Moms" knows what I'm talking about.
The "next level" point for me was dancing seven days a week. Classes after school every day and rehearsals all weekend. I couldn't drive, so my mom was trapped in Naperville waiting for me. She decided to turn her boredom into a business opportunity. She opened a mobile dance apparel store and sold to my studio and studios in the area – it was a profitable way to pass the time.
The "next level" for my brother was traveling soccer tournaments all over the country. My dad often traveled with my brother while my mom was with me. I don't remember many dinners at home together around this time of our lives.
The amount of time and money my parents spent on these activities is staggering. We were a middle class family – I honestly don't know how they swung that. It's no wonder they were sad and disappointed when we each decided to quit. They were just as committed as we were to becoming the best we could be. Probably more.
As I look at Alex and think about what he might be into, I feel overwhelmed by the commitment that could be in our future. I sure hope it's not ice hockey. I've heard that's one of the most expensive and time consuming activities. Not to mention the dental bills
.
Or, at some point, I may have to come to terms with the fact that he may not be committed to any one specific thing. Being super competitive, my natural tendency will be to encourage him to be the best at whatever he tries. I'll have to keep that in check so I don't go all "dance mom" on him. That's a conscious choice that parents have to make. Of course, you love your kids no matter what. But disappointment is real on both sides, and has to be managed in the right way.
One thing I know for sure. However far we may have to travel and however much equipment we may need to accumulate, I will never, ever drive a minivan.