RND: I have a girlfriend who loves to preach her religious and political beliefs to everyone around her every minute. She's a very sweet person really but she insists on lecturing all of us constantly and it doesn't stop at social events. We're out trying to have fun and he's just a real buzz kill. The problem is I brought her into my circle of friends and now all we do is try to avoid her. It's great she has such strong beliefs, but isn't there a time and place for everything? Should I say something to her or just bite the bullet and let her bring us all down?
Rose: There must be some reason you originally befriended her. It even sounds like you admire her character as well as her sweet nature. It doesn't sound like your circle of friends share any common interests with her.
We don't have to force friends to all get along. People naturally gravitate toward each other when there is a connection. Stop inviting her to your social events with other friends. There is a time and place for everything including when to hang out with your serious friend and when to have some serious fun!
D: It could be that your girlfriend feels insecure among you and all your friends so she talks about what she is comfortable with ... her own personal beliefs on such controversial subjects. However when you are out having fun and letting off steam, you certainly don't want to be weighed down with serious conversations that are a definite "buzz kill." There is a time and place for such debates if that is your thing, but not cool that she preaches her beliefs to the group every moment she gets. The next time she starts in on forcing her religious and political beliefs on you and your friends, tell her if you all wanted a lecture you would have brought paper and pencils out for the evening, but you didn't so zip it, lock it, and put it in the pocket. If she still doesn't get it, you don't have to keep being polite and letting yourselves to get drawn in. She is not being polite with forcing her opinions on you while you are trying to line dance (or whatever you do) and at the same time, you don't have to dance around the issue. Hopefully with such honesty, she will ease back on the lectures, and realize that she can loosen up a bit and join the fun!